So that’s that then.
Last night I got an email from the college saying that our internal and external assessments have been submitted to the CPCAB for a calculated grade. Our tutor had already told us that we would all pass. Now that our final grade is being calculated, between a pass and a fail, there is no need to do any more coursework. Some of my fellow students were finding it difficult to find the time to finish their work, so I was really lucky I was able to get it all done well before the time limit.
The only thing I missed out on was the recorded and transcribed roleplay session, which I was really looking forward to doing this year. I enjoyed it in the Level 2 course, and was hoping to hold it up against the one I did back then to see how I’d improved (if at all). I definitely feel like we didn’t do much roleplay this year. I get the impression it was mostly being held back until the latter part of the course as so much of the “try this in a skills practise session” criteria tied in with units we hadn’t yet done in class. Of course, due to the coronavirus outbreak, it meant classroom lessons were not possible, so there were no roleplays. That’s a real shame, because skills practises are definitely the area in which I feel I need improvement. I have no problem with researching different modalities, and comparing them in the abstract, ad hoc. I have no problem writing in depth about concepts or skills or conditions or reasons (You may have noticed I enjoy writing). I have no problem delving into my own self, examining my own beliefs and dreams, developing self-awareness through exploratory thought exercises.
I did initially feel when I started writing this reflective diary that I had not really done much on this course, and that I had not learned much, because I have not changed much. Upon further reflection, I think to be honest that this is actually a representation of how much self-awareness I developed on the Level 2 course. I thought of myself in a whole different light at the end of that course. And in actual fact, just reading through some of the stuff I have written this past year is very enlightening. I’m very proud of the sheer amount of detail and understanding I put into the modalities portion of the course, I really feel like I have an in-depth knowledge of the principles behind Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy and Person-Centred Therapy now.
I enjoyed writing the essays; the process of building up the bare bones of them, then fleshing them out was challenging, which made it interesting and I felt a real accomplishment when our tutor praised them. I enjoy the act of displaying what I have learned, and also, writing something down really solidifies the concepts in my head.
You can find my essays here:
But!
I don’t want to be a scholar or a researcher. I don’t want to be someone that writes about counselling. I want to help real people in their times of need.
The ethical dilemmas portion of the course was fun to do, but I think it would have benefitted from being a class discussion rather than me just writing my own solutions to the problems. Covid-19 really did disrupt everything this year, not just college, but everything. I had so much I wanted to do! I should be able to drive a car right now, I wanted more tattoos, I had hoped to have left Asda, and I wanted to start volunteering already. The lockdown put so much on hold. I felt like my life was on pause. Being told that you might die if you leave your house is quite an affecting statement. But still, my Minecraft world is amazing now! Playing it with Jake kept me sane, I think.
Learning about SMART goals was fun, and I enjoyed working out the best way to help someone that way. I have been looking into incorporating more goal-focused, life-coach centric aspects into my counselling style, and I can see how they might work well in that.
I enjoyed the supervisor practise sessions we had – it was one time I actually felt like I was allowed to put my opinion in, and that it was being heard, that I was actually being listened to. It was interesting to see how different people approached different problems from different angles as well; this reinforces my view that no two counsellors are the same and that there is no one right way to be a counsellor.
We counsellors don’t use what we learn here, our tools, to fix clients. We take what we learn and fashion ourselves into the tools, and then allow the client to wield us as they see fit, to fix themselves.
