You may have heard something about the coronavirus, I’m not sure if it’s on the news yet… Oh, who am I kidding, it’s everywhere. You can’t have not heard about it by now, it’s affecting absolutely everything. We’re self isolating this week because Jake developed a cough the night before he was due to go back to school – we figured he’d only be sent straight back home again if he coughed in class, so we kept him home. One of his school friends got sent home about five/six days before Monday, so in terms of timescale, it could very well be the Coronavirus rearing it’s head. Jane is poorly as well, definitely not Coronavirus, but still, she’s going to use the isolation time to recover.
Life for us in quarantine isn’t much different from the school holidays to be honest, apart from being determined to keep do learning with Jake every day. Jane takes charge of that as she’s more of a natural teacher. I’m tending to disguise me teaching him anything with practical applications, like colouring alongside him in “competitions”, helping him build Lego things, or applying spatial awareness while building things in Minecraft. I don’t really have any time to myself, not enough to really get stuck into anything, so I can only focus on mild distractions like reading a book that I can put down at a moments notice, due to the attention required from Jake.
I’m not going to write one of these every day – as it is I’ve only written this as a kind of reflective diary as they have closed the college until further notice. Writing usually helps. I’ve been finding it tough to focus on college work though to be quite honest. My anxiety levels have risen dramatically, and I’ve turned to simple comforts more than usual. I’m sure I could reference Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs in here somewhere – I feel like the vast majority of people in society have collectively fallen a level or two.
You know, I’ve seen many tweets from people displaying symptoms of anxiety, detailing their panic, their racing hearts or minds, and their inability to concentrate or sit still – it’s funny – this is how I felt in general for the first 38 years of my life. This was my default mindset, my mode of being. I was scared of almost everything. There was a persistent feeling of dread in the back of my mind at all times. I still feel it to some degree, but since really starting to dig into and learn about the human condition over the past few years, I’ve gotten better. But I can feel it rising in me again. Just because you know about anxiety, what it is, how it works, what usually causes it, what the symptoms are, how to treat it, and how to avoid it… That doesn’t make you immune to it.