In this first lesson, our tutor gave us an overview of the course and what it is to be a counsellor, the importance of listening skills in the role, and she answered any basic questions we had. She also outlined the differences between counsellors, Keyworkers and Support workers.
A counsellor is a qualified and registered person who has trained for at least four years in counselling-related qualifications, and has experience in real counsellor/client relationships as a trainee counsellor. A counsellor empowers and supports people that need help, and provides them with a safe environment to tell their stories and the tools to help themselves. We learned that the BACP has a code of ethics which all counsellors adhere to and are governed by, and we will be covering ethics in detail later in the course.
There are several factors that are essential in the importance of listening skills. The most obvious one is listening: hearing what the other person is saying and taking it in and understanding it, rather than just waiting for your turn to speak.
Another is eye contact: as long as you keep it relaxed and don’t stare, the client will be comfortable. They may not want to look you in the eyes all the time, dependent on how they are currently feeling or what the subject matter is, but that is ok as long as you are attentive and not aggressive.
An open body language makes people feel more at ease, and thus they are more likely to want to talk. The counsellor being personable, warm, approachable and genuine all help in making the client feel relaxed, and makes them feel that the counsellor is focused on them, ready and able to listen. Some key body language gestures made by a counsellor that shows openness is leaning forward and smiling, more subtle ones include having open palms facing upwards and the counsellor exposing their wrists.
Being attentive is another factor. Limiting distractions such as external noise or a temperature that is above or below comfortable for either party can cause attention problems. Even something like your own hunger level could be a problem.
Empathy is an important aspect of listening as well. It is described as the ability to see and feel the world through someone else’s eyes, or from their perspective. It is also the ability to see someone as they see themselves. A level of genuineness helps the client feel at ease, and an interest in people is also a handy boon.
Boundaries are a key element of listening skills in a counselling environment. We learned that it is never a good idea to offer to counsel a friend as there will already be pre-conceived judgments and knowledge present, and that is not acceptable to become friends with clients outside of the structured framework of the counsellor/client relationship.
We learned that it is not good practise to take notes while the client is present. It can act as a barrier between the counsellor/client relationship, as well as a distraction. As an example of how it could be a distraction: A counsellor could be too engaged in writing down the complexities of an extraneous point to notice that the client has subtly moved to a new topic, or mentioned something key that will later prove useful in their sessions.
