This week we looked at what we feel and think are necessary to developing an effective working relationship with clients.
I think the most important one, one that Carl Rogers outlined many years ago, is a core condition of the therapeutic counselling relationship – Unconditional Positive Regard. UPR is a non-judgemental point of view and an accepting attitude toward the client. Boundaries are another important characteristic, as they maintain the professionalism of the relationship. Good practise and adhering to a professional body’s ethical framework is also essential. A counsellor should actively listen to a client, and pay attention to them at all times.
Enthusiasm from the counsellor and a genuine interest in the client are also important. I think trust on both sides is a necessary characteristic as well; the client should trust that the counsellor will maintain privacy, while the counsellor should trust that the client will tell the truth. Honesty from the counsellor is essential as well, as a counsellor should not be afraid of sharing their experience of being in the room at that moment, and how what the client is saying is making them feel. I feel that a safe and welcoming physical environment is also important and goes some way to calming a client’s potential nerves in an initial session.
A counsellor should keep up to date with the latest research and developments in counselling and psychotherapy, as well as constantly learning and developing their skillset and their professional knowledge. This is known as Continuing Professional Development (or CPD for short), and combines things like training workshops, conferences and events, online learning courses and authoring research papers or essays. A counsellor should also have regular professional supervision, in which they discuss their client work with a supervisor. Supervision in itself is a reflection of the counselling work, as it enables the counsellor to experience a safe environment in which they are able to explore and reflect on their work. Supervision ensures the counsellor’s work remains ethical and safe.
These characteristics are important because without them, there could be no meaningful working relationship. With no trust, the client would not open up. If there were no empathy, the counsellor would not be able to comprehend how the client felt about what they were going through. If a counsellor’s body language were closed, a client may not feel they were listening. With no interest or compassion, a client could feel as if the counsellor were just paying lip-service to their voice.
In terms of defining which of the above characteristics of the counselling relationship facilitate growth and change, I think UPR is the ultimate tool. As a counsellor you may not agree with some of a client’s actions, but you do approve of them as a fellow human being. It allows for a client to explore their thoughts, feelings and behaviours in an atmosphere that is not based on trying to find fault or criticise or blame or accuse. In such an environment, a person cannot help but feel supported, and are able to reflect on their personal situation.
UPR empowers a client in many ways. It could be that they have never had anyone actually really listen to what they have said before. They could be used to people dismissing their opinions or belittling their emotions. A counsellor being non-judgemental in their responses also makes a client feel great. Not because it somehow justifies their actions if they were morally wrong, but because everyone at some point in their lives make mistakes. Being in an environment full of warmth and acceptance in which they can explore their actions and reactions safely allows a client greater understanding of themselves and their motivations – and they can then go on to challenge themselves in ways they never imagined. UPR does not validate a client’s bad behaviour – it allows them to take a step back and examine whether that behaviour was acceptable – and then make the decision on whether they want to continue down that path.
I think the most important personal attitude and value which enables a counsellor to introduce those characteristics, and thus allows a client to experience them in the relationship, is the counsellors own sense of congruence. Congruence is the feeling that the counsellor is genuine in their desires to help, and that their outward actions and attitudes are honest representations of their inner feelings. So, in my case, I am congruent with my sense of openness about wanting to help people, and my desire to do good in the world. I am quite a laid back person, and I feel that would contribute to the relaxed environment I would strive to provide for clients, and people have also told me that I am quite easy to talk to. I am genuinely inquisitive; I like to know what makes people tick so to speak, and coupled with my learning from the level 2 course, I have further developed my empathy to increase my understanding of others. I tend to see the best in everyone, so that is a natural addition to unconditional positive regard.
I feel really passionate about congruence in that I don’t think there is a certain “way” to be a counsellor – all us trainees bring our own experiences and personalities to the role, and as long as a counsellor is true to themselves, and their inner self is congruent with the outward persona they project, then a client will feel that honesty, that genuineness, and relate accordingly. As long as a counsellor works within the ethical and professional boundaries set by the professional body they belong to and the organisation they work for, it’s acceptable for them to be themselves. Also, congruence from the counsellor sets a good example for the client, and allows and encourages them to become more congruent in themselves.
Some personal attitudes and values that could discourage the client’s experience of the important characteristics in the therapeutic relationship could be my lack of relevant experience. I do not have any clinical experience in a helping setting, so I could feel too nervous when doing the job for real, or be blindsided by the harsh reality of someone’s predicament. Similarly, the limits of my ability could disempower a client if they felt I was too inexperienced to properly help them, for example if they were having issues around alcohol abuse, but I personally have never worked with anyone that has.
An unexpected and previously unconscious prejudice or bias against a certain type of person could manifest itself, and cause me as a counsellor to become closed, or dismissive.
Although I felt congruence was the most important personal value that empowered a client, I must also admit that it could be a negative as well. Not all counsellors and clients would necessarily get on. Despite a counsellor’s best intentions, there could be something about them and their way of being that the client just does not gel with. We often cover this from the perspective of the counsellor trying to remain impartial, remove their blocks to listening, and presenting a non-judgmental attitude, but if a client for whatever reason, be it gender, religion or race, does not want to form a relationship with a certain counsellor, then it would be foolish to force the matter. Referring them to a colleague or a more suitable agency is not admitting defeat – it could be the best thing to do in this circumstance.
