What’s the score?

What’s the score?

When I first started writing a blog back in 2005 I had no idea I’d still be writing it now. I thought it’d be a short-lived thing. I wouldn’t stick to it. That would be the kind of thing I do.

But here we are, thirteen years later.

I’ve moved all my posts over from various other websites I’ve had or written for over the years, and some of them were very hard to read. Anything from the beginning of 2017 and earlier could probably be disregarded as “not really me” anymore, as that’s when I had my big wake up call. I’m not going to write a big long list of all the things I’m going to do or write about and give the entire game away, I’m just going to mention a couple of things and then take massive action.

Because when you take massive action, you get massive results.

The first of these massive actions will be exposing myself in the form of this website to my Twitter audience. I’m a little nervous as my blogs have never really had an audience, but I would like that to change. This is why I am changing from short, social network style status updates to longer, more considered and thoughtful posts.

I never really felt that anyone was bothered about what I was writing here, and for the most part it was for my own benefit. I found it therapeutic to write my worries down, and the physical act of getting the thoughts out of my head stopped them from going round and around for days and weeks and months. Conversely, trapping my thoughts and worries on the internet for all to see did feel a little bit risky, and there are some things that I have taken down, just because I felt so exposed. I now see how useful it was for me to document these things – I found some of the earlier posts quite hard to read but they explain a lot, and I can see why I suffered from depression a couple of times, once a decade ago, and another time more recently. I love it when I notice signs like that, it really makes me feel that the universe has my back, and that every action I have ever taken was leading me towards this moment, and propelling me towards the future.

You have to follow the trail of breadcrumbs that the universe leaves for you.

The universe is not subtle.

As I said, I’m a little nervous about exposing my inner self to the internet at large, but I want to cultivate a feeling of honesty and openness with people. This website will be the central hub of my personal brand, with various spokes leading off in other directions towards my other interests and ideas. My future aspirations are to be some kind of counsellor, and if the people who need help find me through this blog, read some of the early posts and see that I have been in similar situations to them with regards to my mental health, and that I survived and now I’m thriving? And then if they see that I can help them get out too? That’s the goal. Admittedly, I’m still a long way from where I want to be and very much still a work-in-progress, but I think it would be nice for them to see that I am human, after all.

I want people in tough situations to know that I can help them.

To give you a little glimpse of the future I am looking forward to writing longer, essay-style posts on a variety of topics ranging from counselling and psychotherapy, psychology and philosophy, emotional intelligence and mental fortitude, depression and anxiety, and my opinions, observations and ideas on things like intersexual relations, raising good kids, the duality and balance of masculinity and femininity, exercise and nutrition, and life in general. I’ve got a list of 25 ideas on my phone ready to be written up which I compiled in about half an hour the other night, and more will be added all the time. But again – believe it when you see it. There’s also the small matter of UltraVitalism – I’ll be writing about that too.

Believe in my massive action rather than my massive promises.

In a display of radical candour, I’ve also decided to upload all my counselling coursework to the blog. I will edit it slightly for clarity, context, and most importantly, other students on the course’s privacy, but for the most part it will be reproduced as I wrote it. I have decided to upload it for two distinct reasons, informed by the way I implemented my coursework: Each week I wrote up a learning log from the notes I took in class to solidify in my mind what had been covered that week, and I also wrote a reflective diary in which I explored my thoughts and feelings towards what we had learned that week and how it had affected me. My reflective work also covered the exploration of myself I did on the course – a certain level of self-awareness is an important part of being a counsellor.

* The first reason is so that potential clients can see more of my approach to counselling, and how I came to develop my methods.

* The second reason is so that potential clients can see more of the person behind the counsellor, and how my thought processes work.

In addition to my reflective diaries, I’ve also started free-writing exercises that I’m using to explore my sense of self and my psyche, and I’m having a blast. Check them out here, or leave a comment with a word or short phrase you’d like me to explore. I find it fascinating getting to know myself through word association and just having a brain dump – sometimes it is quite shocking what appears on the screen. I really do believe that the more you know yourself, the better. It strengthens every mental aspect of you and it exercises cognitive muscles you never knew existed. I’ll expand on this in the future, but for now, let me tell you this:

Self-awareness is a super-power.

That’s the current score, and if you’ve lasted this long and read this much, fair play to you. Don’t forget to like and subscribe, follow the blog, follow me on Twitter, thumbs up the video, click the bell to enable notifications, buy some merchandise and check out my Soundcloud, I’ll be here all week.

Anyway, enough about me. Go and explore the website and read more about me.

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