I had a workshop day for my counselling skills training course this week. We were using the Johari Window and making masks of our Open Selves and being brave and revealing an aspect of our Hidden Selves which in turn let others tell you something about your Blind Self… It was quite fun and quite eye-opening.
One aspect of my Hidden Self that I chose to expose was that I am “deeply unsure of myself” – to which the entire group agreed it’s a universal thing, and besides, they thought I “had my shit together”, was “clearly very ambitious” and “had the measure of the course from the get-go”. I had no idea how successfully I was passing myself off for a confident human. Evidently it is working. Very well.
There were about 15 or so other hidden aspects of myself that I kept as hidden aspects in the little box we had to bring with us, including the one shown in the attached image. I’m still here. And look how far I’ve come. Mentally, I’ve unpicked the stitches and let it all fall loose. Made connections in my memories and thinking that I never knew I’d care about so deeply. Looked back and seen what I’ve been doing wrong, and making positive steps in the right direction to improve not only my future, but the future for my wife and son as well.
I’ve learnt so much over this past year, it’s hard to quantify exactly how much, but I have a plan. A plan I know I can succeed with. I’ve internalised so much knowledge. Just last week when writing something for college I wrote about how the amygdala is the emotion centre of the brain. Without having to check how to spell it or that it is actually the emotional centre of the brain. I just casually tossed it I there. Progress. Absolute progress.
The realisation that is slowly dawning on me has made the anxieties I used to struggle with a lot easier to manage. Knowing that most people have it just as bad as, if not worse than me has made me feel superior because I feel those old anxieties and depressions are in-hand now. I am ruling them, rather than them ruling me.
