This week we looked at some aspects of Transactional Analysis, in particular Stephen Karpman’s Drama Triangle, as well as Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
The Drama Triangle was conceived as a social model of human interaction by Stephen Karpman in 1968. In life, people play games. In difficult or tumultuous relationships, the Drama Triangle can be used to map the participant’s roles in that relationship.
Rescuers are people pleasers, taken to an absolute extreme in that they often do more than is required to the point where it can disempower others. They can often feel guilty if they do not go to the rescue. Rescuers are enablers, and will happily allow a Victim to remain dependent on them. The role they play is often a subconscious avoidance mechanism used to distract or distance themselves from their own problems or anxieties, and is disguised as the desire to help others.
Persecutors are often referred to as bullies. They believe themselves to always be “right”, are usually rude and angry, and relish putting others down. Their behaviour is often controlling, critical and oppressive; and they rarely take responsibility for their own part in problems. The role they play in criticising others makes them feel better about themselves.
Victims are not actual “victims” of anything but themselves, and often feel helpless, hopeless and powerless. They rarely show any kind of zest for life and seem unable to make decisions. They like it when other people take care of them and invite people to do jobs for them by conveying incompetence in a passive manner. The Rescuer/Victim dynamic is akin to a person (Rescuer) holding on to someone who cannot swim (Victim) in the ocean. The Rescuer does not have the strength to save themselves, but they can divert their attention to at least not letting the Victim drown.
When a person starts acting out a role on the Drama Triangle, they unconsciously seek out people that are willing to take up one of the other positions. There are usually one or two positions that a person prefers to play, and these roles are typically established when they are young, depending on their place in their family.
It is also possible to change positions on the Drama Triangle. At some point in a relationship a Victim’s shame could become too much so they empower themselves to rise above their Rescuer, possibly becoming a Persecutor and attacking them for holding them down for so long. Or a Rescuer that no longer has their needs met by doing everything for their pet Victim, and turns into a Persecutor and tells them off for being so pathetic. Or another role swap could be a Persecutor that suddenly develops some self-awareness and a conscience, and leaves a Victim alone.
It is possible to leave the Drama Triangle altogether, and not play the game. A person becoming aware that they are playing a role then identifying which role they are playing, and then taking responsibility for their behaviour is a great place to start. All three roles can be destructive if taken on as a primary role for too long, this is why people unconsciously move around the Drama Triangle and switch roles from time to time. Knowing which roles you seem to naturally fall into will help as well, as a person can consciously choose not to Rescue someone, or allow someone to Rescue them. They could also rise above being a Victim by not letting someone else do all the work, or resisting the temptation to Persecute someone. All of these show a transition to an Adult state. Everyone playing an Adult role is responsible for their own actions and honest about their intentions.
There are a couple of other versions of the Drama Triangle, which seek to help players recognise their roles and view them in a more positive light.
The Winner’s Triangle, conceived by Acey Choy in 1990, suggested alternate ways for the three roles to consider themselves. Rather than being an outright Victim, this role should try to accept their vulnerability and attempt to solve their own problems, and be more self-aware. Persecutors should strive to be assertive rather than domineering, be less judgemental and have more awareness of the feelings others, and ask for what they want rather than demand. And finally, Rescuers should carry on showing concern and being caring, but not over-extend their kindness and solve other people’s problems for them.
The Power of TED, conceived in 2009, also suggests different, more productive and healthy ways for the roles to identify themselves. Victims are encouraged to become Creators, and change to being outcome-orientated rather than problem-orientated and take more responsibility for their own lives. Persecutors are redefined as Challengers – their role is similar for themselves, but the outlook of the Victim is changed to see them more as a challenge to overcome than a bully to be scared of. The key difference between Coaches and Rescuers is that they realise that Victims are capable of making their own choices, and encourage this autonomy, and do not try to solve their problems.
The other concept we covered in this lesson was Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. It was first published in 1943 in the paper “A Theory of Human Motivation” by Abraham Maslow, and later in his book: “Motivation and Personality”. Maslow preferred to focus on positive psychology, and he was very interested in human potential, and how we go about fulfilling that potential. His hierarchy suggests that people are motivated to more or less fulfil their basic needs before moving on to more advanced needs.
Starting at the bottom, the most basic needs for a human are Physiological. Air to breathe. Water to drink. Food to eat. Shelter from the elements. Sleep to rest and recover. Clothing to keep warm. Masturbation for pleasure.
The next level up are requirements for Safety and Security. Protection from the elements, rather than just shelter. Personal security and safety – a freedom from fear. Law and order. Access to resources. Employment and the ability to earn money.
Above this level is the Social tier of Love and Belonging. Friendship. Intimacy. Trust. Sex. Acceptance. Giving and receiving affection and love. Being part of a group, be it family, friends or work colleagues.
The next level is Esteem, both of the self and from others. Dignity and respect. Mastery and independence. Reputation gained from impressing others. Respect from one’s peers. Reputation and Respect from one’s peers are important building blocks that adolescents can use to develop real and lasting Self-esteem and dignity.
Abraham believed that all people have an inborn desire to be Self-actualized, which equates as someone being the best version of themselves they can be, striving for constant personal growth and increased mastery. This is the top level of the pyramid.
It is possible to go to a higher level of the hierarchy even if the previous layer has not been 100% completed. Progression is not strict, as human desires are always in flux, but in general, lower tier needs do have to be met before higher ones are attempted. For example, if you are tired and hungry you may not feel like working on your Tier Four need: “Mastery of Bike Engine Repair”, or as a homeless person it may be more prudent to find a dry place to sleep tonight rather than go looking for a new girlfriend.
