Smudge died today. Jane sent me a message while I was at work.
She’d been off for weeks, coming up for more cuddles and being very clingy, but I never thought it was this bad, that would come to this.
Jake and I had a lovely long cuddle with her yesterday. We were on the sofa and she came up to us and she was very affectionate to both of us. It was lovely. And a nice way to say goodbye.
I haven’t cried or grieved yet, I don’t know how to! I kinda feel that because I wasn’t there when she died or that because I never took her to the vets that it’s not really real. Does that make sense? I just feel sadness, but I don’t know how to release it. I don’t feel like crying. But I know she’s gone.
I still have memories of her. I always will. She’ll always be with me. From the very first time we met, when we went round to collect Gizmo, we were friends. I felt a sharp sensation on the back of my leg, looked around and her little face was looking up at me. She was at full stretch, using my leg as a scratching post. It was lovely. We weren’t even meant to have her as well as Gizmo, she went to live with an older lady first, but the lady couldn’t manage her.
She had a good life. I will miss her.
