This week we were learning about Stereotyping and Prejudice in relation to the wide range of potential differences between the client and counsellor. These include (but are not limited to) differences in gender, race, age, social habits, capability, sexual orientation and physical ability.
Prejudice is having a pre-conceived (usually unfavourable) idea that is not based on anything rational or a previous experience, but solely on the person’s membership of a particular group. These groups could be anything: gender, race, age, nationality, beauty, language spoken, occupation, or even something as arbitrary as sports team affiliation. While prejudice can sometimes project a positive attribute, it is still an assumption that someone has made about someone else based purely on the colour of their skin, their age or their gender.
Stereotypes are widely adopted and over-simplified thoughts or opinions that are applied wholesale and without consideration to a type of person or a group of people. These can be based upon anything, including but not limited to: gender, race, age, social habits, capability, sexual orientation or physical ability. Like prejudice, stereotypes can project positive attributes on to a person or group of people, but they are still broad, generalised classifications across a wide selection of people who may or may not hold those attributes.
Prejudice and Stereotypes in relation to counselling are linked to Unconditional Positive Regard, in that a counsellor cannot judge anyone who enters into a client/counsellor relationship with them. This could be difficult if it is someone who is clearly different to the counsellor – and there are a lot of potential differences out there. Differences come in lots of varieties. Some are physical and visibly obvious like gender or age, some are abstract and based on personality or religious beliefs, some are social constructs such as employment or marriage status, and not all differences are immediately obvious.
Acknowledging any differences that could potentially cause problems in the client/counsellor relationship is very important, in that it is another aspect involved in creating and cultivating an honest and open environment which allows the client to feel comfortable in speaking freely and gain a better understanding of themselves. For example, if a counsellor has little experience or knowledge about the clients religion, then the counsellor being honest about that fact and asking questions will not only increase the counsellors understanding, but also make the client feel more understood.
Similarly, if a difference in a client is too much for the counsellor to effectively help the client, then it is only fair on both of them for the counsellor to use immediacy and explain to the client their reasons for not feeling adequately qualified or comfortable in dealing with the clients problem in a diplomatic and fair way, and then pass them on to another counsellor.
A counsellor could have prejudices when it comes to the subject matter brought to the counselling room by the client. For example, a client is having relational difficulties with his sexually promiscuous partner, who is also a man. A heterosexual female counsellor that had pre-conceived ideas that homosexuality is somehow wrong could have difficulty generating empathy and understanding the client’s problem.
As another example, a married woman is having problems juggling her child-care issues, household tasks and her job, and she feels that her husband isn’t pulling his weight. A divorced female counsellor could side with her as the client reinforces the counsellor’s stereotype that all men are evil. A counsellor who spent the first half of her life devoted to her children could think the client was not working hard enough, as she goes against the counsellor’s stereotype that all women should be mothers first. An older, childless male counsellor could be unsympathetic towards her as he cannot relate to her predicament. These are all extreme examples, and it is doubtful that someone who has trained to be a counsellor would hold these views.
Social conditioning is a factor in prejudice and stereotyping, and a counsellor must become more aware how much of an effect it has on them themselves as well as their clients. For example, there is a lot of negativity in the media about Islam and Muslims at the moment, and a counsellor could unwittingly absorb these views. This could lead to an unconscious discriminatory attitude on the part of the counsellor. Clients from minority groups could also internalise negative beliefs that are broadcast – thus making them hold expectations of the ways they feel they should behave. As another example, a counsellor should adapt their practise and theories if counselling someone whose ethnic or personal background doesn’t hold the same views as they are used to; for example, someone from a religion or culture that places their central value in the family rather than in the individual. This is important, as the outcome of a client/counsellor relationship could be very different depending on whether the client felt that they, and their religion or culture were understood and respected by the counsellor.
Prejudices and stereotypes could also go the other way in the client/counsellor relationship, in pre-formed views that the client may hold about the counsellor. The client may believe the counsellor feels they have higher status than themselves, or see the counsellor in a negative authoritarian role. These could be more difficult to overcome as clients don’t tend to go into counselling rooms with Unconditional Positive Regard in mind. If a counsellor maintains an open mind, retains professionalism and conveys genuineness, then those will help greatly in pulling down any stereotypes the client may hold. For example, a young client that has had many run-ins with the law may view the counsellor as yet another authority figure to rebel against. Only after many unproductive sessions of silence on the part of the client, and patience and honesty on the part of the counsellor would trust hopefully build up, those pre-conceived barriers start to come down, and the helping relationship blossom.
Some top tips from our tutor: If you ever disagree with something a client says it is best to be sensitive and diplomatic, and not start an argument over who is correct. Never interject with “That’s racist!” – It is best to not get involved in conversations about religion or politics. There will be times when a counsellor just does not want to counsel a particular client – it could be that their personality or nature triggers a negative response or the subject matter discussed brings a painful memory to the surface. It is best, in those circumstances, to talk about it with your supervisor and work out why.
As a conclusion, the best thing a counsellor can do when confronted with differences is acknowledge that they exist. Pretending that there are no differences or ignoring them would only lead to more problems in the future. Always keep Unconditional Positive Regard as a core condition in mind and, as our tutor put it, leave your prejudices and stereotypes hanging up on the coat stand outside the room for an hour.
