I know I’ve not properly posted on here for a long time… I go through phases where it seems like a good idea to document stuff, make a big fuss about “here’s what I’m going to do next”, and then never get around to it. It’s got to a point where I want to start the next “big thing” (which this time around is developing games with Unity), but I still want to become a coach and help other men, but to do that I need to do a course in Southampton, but to get to Southampton every week I need to be able to drive because it’s too far and takes too long to get a train in the time frame required, and to be able to drive I need to earn more money for lessons and insurance and fuel, and to get more money I need to get another job, but I can’t get another job because I need similar hours to what I do now that synchronise with the school run, so I need something flexible like working from home maybe, but I don’t have any relevant experience or even know where to start at looking for working from home jobs, so the big idea is to develop games and eventually sell them or make money from them with in-game purchases, so I can afford driving lessons and the plan continues. It’s a simple plan. Linear. But it’s so hard for me to even start things.
Look, knowing that I have ADHD doesn’t diminish the effects of it. Having an official diagnosis doesn’t make it magically go away. I’m still 100% conscious of what is happening and what I am doing (and what I am not doing). I can’t orient myself. I can’t start things because I don’t know where to start. Procrastination is an unbearable burden. Everything is getting more expensive, and that’s had a knock on effect on my progress with getting medication – I initially put it off because I wasn’t sure, then when I was sure I wanted to start medication I didn’t have enough money after birthdays and holidays and such. Now I have enough money but too much time has passed and I need to have a follow-up meeting to make sure I’m still good for medication, which is another cost. You would’ve though they’d factor in that people diagnosed with ADHD would procrastinate at times. But still, one more virtual meeting to make sure nothing has changed, and then I can start medication for ADHD. And hopefully it will help me gain clarity over which way to go next.
