This week we reflected on our own patterns of relating, and how that increases our self-awareness. In particular, we looked at Relationships and what they are.
Taking into consideration the connotation which is relevant to our studies, relationships are, essentially, descriptors of the connection between two or more people.
There are numerous types of relationship, and they can be roughly divided into four broad categories: Home, Work, Public and Other. These can be drilled down further. Home relationships include the parental relationship between Father and Son, the sibling relationship between brother and sister, and the sexual relationship between lovers. Work relationships include the authoritarian relationship between employee and boss, the cooperative relationship between co-workers, and of course the therapeutic relationship between counsellor and client. Public relationships include the helping relationship between Doctor and patient, the public service relationship between bus driver and bus passenger, and the locality relationship between neighbours. Other types of relationship include the usually passionate camaraderie with ones countrymen, a person’s introspective relationship with themselves, and the religious or spiritual relationship a person has with the God of his or her choice.
We also looked at four key aspects of a fully functioning helping relationship, how and why they are important, and what a helping relationship would be like without them being present. The four key aspects are: Understanding, Trusting, Attending and Valuing, and they can all be interpreted in various ways.
Understanding is important because the helping relationship would stall if a counsellor did not understand a client’s problem. Understanding could also be interpreted as physical comprehension, for example if English was not a client’s native tongue but English is the only language the counsellor is fluent in; that would create a language barrier.
Trust is invaluable in a helping relationship, simply because if a client did not trust in a counsellor’s confidentiality, then they would be unlikely to really open up and be honest. A degree of trust on the part of the counsellor is required as well, to have faith that the client is telling them the truth, and not just inventing scenarios for whatever reason.
Attending in a helping relationship refers to the participant’s presence in the conversation. Both the counsellor and client have a responsibility to focus on the events unfolding in the room and not allow their minds to wander or be distracted by external events.
And finally, Valuing in a helping relationship is important, simply because a client that feels valued is more likely to open themselves up. It could also refer to a client that values a counsellor’s skills and attention, and thus feels more at ease discussing emotional issues.
