As you may have read in my post detailing the blessing of Karl and Hannah last week, I teased that the view from our hotel window was interesting. I am now going to expand on that and go into the gory details. Be warned – it gets quite racy.
Basically, there was a block of flats opposite our hotel and our window looked out on to their windows. The rooms that tended to be their lounges had full height windows, and the rooms they used as bedrooms had little square windows. Not being incredibly visible from ground level, and being in a very un-obvious spot (it’s not like you’d think of looking up there if you happened to be walking past), very few of the people living in these flats ever closed their curtains. It’s not like we spent a lot of time watching – most of these things happened just as we happened to look out.
Over the course of the weekend we saw a wide variety of characters, and gave them names based on their first or most memorable activity, or what they were wearing. For example, “Willy Man” was named because the first time I saw him he was wearing a towel, which he dropped, then slowly put some trousers on. I think he usually had a curtain installed, as when he realised he had just got his penis out in full view of anyone who happened to be watching he stormed over to the window and spent the next few minutes trying to fix a curtain rail to the wall above the window. “Cooking Lady” was named because whenever we looked out she was at her cooker. Everyone else’s names were pretty obvious. “Pink Trousers” pulled her top up, flashing her bra at her man-friend “Odd Socks”, while in one of the bottom windows “Yoga Lady” did some yoga.
But by far the most entertaining (and exhibitionistic) couple were “Knicker Girl” and “Dressing Gown Man”. The first time “Knicker Girl” appeared, she pulled her jeans off (showing her knickers, hence the name) and slipped into some more comfortable jogging bottoms. “Dressing Gown Man” was with her at the time, but I hadn’t registered his presence for some reason. He re-appeared minutes later wearing only a dressing gown – which was open – and in a show of bravado, faced out of the window and did a little dance. I hadn’t seen this many penises in one day since the showers after P.E. lessons in Secondary School. Late on our last night I looked over and, after trying to work out what was happening for a few seconds, I realised that she was going down on him! How very brazen. Lights on, curtains wide open. Unbelievable.
So, if you’re ever contemplating visiting Coventry and you like this sort of thing, be sure to stay at the Premier Inn, and cross your fingers you get an odd numbered room on a high floor.
