Phantasy Star Universe. The Final Hurrah
Before you start reading, click play on this Youtube video – you don’t need to watch it, just have it playing in the background as you read. I know it’s not the Phantasy Star Universe ending, it’s actually from Phantasy Star Online, but I chose this one instead as the PSU ending music is awful.
Well, last night was the last night. Jane, Donk, Siri, Mood and myself had one last PSU session. Those of us who didn’t already have it got the final Achievement, and I luckily got a Rare mission earlier in the day. I ran Sleeping Warriors for old times sake, so we could run Phantom Ruins once (just so we could say we had done it all if nothing else).
It all started with the PSU Beta. Loads of people tried it, even those who never ended up getting PSU. Powers, Garly, Tiarny, Aaronayl, Stu, along with some of the regulars who did end up in Gurhal for real, Orca, Stellar and Crimson. At one point I couldn’t join the RF party as it was full! That never happened in the real PSU.
Some of the events were great. Operation: Firebreak was the first and I wasn’t quite up to my elite status by then, soldiering on a dozen levels below the cap, trying to make ends meet. The going was tough early on in PSU, most money went on Scape Dolls as back then if you died in a mission and had to be revived then you ruined the final rewards for everyone else. This was an Orca speciality. Seeing a fire element Gohmon for the first time and thinking “…hold on, Gohmon are ice? Aren’t they?”, as they instantly killed you with a fast ‘n’ fierce Foie. The 1up Cup was another highlight, and probably the last “actually fun” event we had. Finding that Jane and I couldn’t really survive as a twosome in Gurhal for much longer, we sent out a plea to popular British gaming forum rllmuk, and thus we met Donk-Bot, and came to know, understand and respect his deep, deep love for bacon.
Stopping now and thinking about it has made me realise just how many people I’ve got to know whilst playing PSU.
In the early days it was Stellar, Crimson and Orca. The five of us would take arms and muddle through as best we could, marvelling at Stellar’s stories of how he bought loads of Chicotite for 500 Meseta each and sold them on for massive profit. Crimson and I would take the late shift, playing into the wee hours. One defining memory of PSU will always be Orca’s obsession with Diga. Or “DIIIIIIIIIIIIGGER” as he put it. Hexx joined in a little later and I was always amazed he could watch Eddie Izzard DVD’s while playing PSU.
As I mentioned earlier, eventually it was just Jane and I playing every night, and we were having some difficulty playing high rank missions with just the two of us. Asking for help on rllmuk opened up a whole new cast of characters that joined our adventures. Strawdonkey, the bacon loving stat-whore who would happily pay through the nose for marginally better equipment. He also sent me a keyboard so I could type stuff, he is a generally all round great guy. Siri the ever cheerful, who can still baffle me with total randomness to this day. Marcface the grumpy troll. Willei, Corleth and Kiskio. Raff, the Fortegunners Fortegunner. Ryan, who was the only person I knew who had a Spread Needle. Siri eventually coaxed Moodmon back to PSU and when together, they conjured up some astonishing mental images: Laia Martinez falling over in a wheelchair being a prime example. Strangely, I also met people who didn’t play PSU: Hank Wangford often joined our Xbox Live party while we were playing PSU and he was playing something else, just to chat about stuff.
I don’t know where to start with trying to explain the in-jokes. Maybe I’ll just mention my favourite ones along with some of my favourite moments.
1st rule of Phantasy Star: Don’t get surrounded. Singing “It’s a Copernia” to the tune of Love Machine by Girls Aloud. They call it Olpad; It is a gemstone. Dam-noob-barta. I blame Stellar. I’m immune to Megid. Naked Thursdays (although they never really took off). Can I have your stuff? Sam Kenaydee. Pay me for heals and buffs. Wynter’s hat. Chippy Chips. Discy Discs. Rare-rare-rare-rare-rare. “He’s just gone for a quickie with Sam”. Shit-kikami. Crimson forgets to fill up his weapons. Crimson forgets to buy Trimates. Crimson uses orange server select crystal to fill his weapons and ends up in his room. DIIIIIIIIIIGA. AWWW TOKKY. The various ‘Fests being PSU-free zones. Scape Doll and Gourmet Cake boards. Hunting for Crea Doubles. Synth failure noise. The Blackbull saga. Event pose 5. Guardian Heroes. VEST VULC MERC. PLZ DO NOT BAN ME. All my family are dead. Donkpedia. wat the hell tim. The Jabroga song. Shut up. Here are some Boomas covered in piss. MRRGH. Why don’t you buy… A Psycho Wand? Phil NOOOOOOOOOO. Bruce’s Sexy Dungeon. Roundroundroundroundroundroundroundround. Everyone spamming “1up”. Everyone spamming “Happy Birthday Sonic!”. Everyone spamming “EH DONK”. “Dear Sega Team…”. Poor dog. Looking at peoples equipment. New content. ROLLBACKS. Gacha Rinsing Co. and the Great Gurhalian Cup. “Hey guys, don’t do that”. Guntechers. Picking up Kerselines in random games. Give me all your monies. ADMIRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. Bacon. Walking on Sunshine / Cock in your ear. Leaderboard Face. I R INTELIGANT. Tornado Dance. Can I have 30p?
Probably my favourite, which I started doing very early on, was doing the male Nanoblast action on people who were sitting down. For those of you who never played PSU, it basically looked like I was rubbing my arse in their face. I did this A LOT. So much so, that I’m actually surprised no-one ever reported me for it. I loved seeing peoples reactions, be it immediately getting up and running away, to telling me to fuck off, to people sitting there, moving their head around and saying “Oh yeah!”. Great fun.
Here, have a boatload of pictures from our time on PSU.
