I finished my level 2 Counselling Skills course back in August, but I couldn’t take the assessment because we had already booked to go on holiday. I went in to college and took it last night, and it felt great to be back in a learning environment. Being driven to college in a taxi in the dark, the smell of the classroom, and talking to the other eager person that was there to do her assessment, it was an amazing feeling to be back among it.

It felt so good.

But at the same time, it made me feel bad. It made me realise that I have been slacking.

I’ve realised that without that defined day every week, that particular time in the evening every Wednesday, I’m just not putting much effort in. It’s the danger of “working” from home really, isn’t it? If I have to go out and be somewhere at a certain time to learn, then I go and do it. But if I can pick and choose when to learn things depending on how I feel, then I’m more likely to just not bother. Which is bad.

I’ve started an online CBT course but barely scratched the surface to be honest. Last year when I was at college I was doing three hours with my tutor on a Wednesday night, then multiple more hours during the week to go through the given exercises and write up my notes. If I had put as much time into this relatively short introductory course on CBT then it could have been finished by now and I’d have a shiny new qualification.

Realising this and confronting it is useful.

I made the decision not to do the level 3 Counselling course for logistic and economic reasons. Then, the day after the decision was made, I went in to work. It dawned on me that I’d added an extra year to the escape plan. I hadn’t considered that until I was back down in the trenches, so to speak. With that in mind, I do need to do something in this intermediate year so I don’t feel it is wasted.


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